He restores my soul.

I had had a discussion with a friend a while back about how we are opposites on certain things. He loves living alone and is perfectly fine being by himself throughout the day, and I would rather have someone by my side- someone to witness my life, and me to witness theirs. Well, almost a week ago, he reminded me of that certain talk. I won't get into the whole conversation (it was a duzzy), but I was telling him how there are certain times I actually enjoy being alone. When everyones gone or asleep, that's my time. It's a time for me to hash out the days' ruin, the past couple of years' yuck, and/or just the ever so special, "this sucks, Lord." which always seems to end in praise. ha ha ...God is good!

All this to say, the two other crazy people that reside in my house have left for the weekend. They both came home from work around the same time and decided it was a good idea to drive up north to Santa Rosa, to visit my brother, my sister n law and my nephew and niece. I however, am still here. It's only been 7 hours and already the Lord has showed me some hard things... pockets of resistance; nooks and crannies God should have free reign over but doesn't.

A while back, after trusting the Lord for what seemed like too long, I became cynical. And as my cynicism grew I developed layers and layers of armor that sadly, blocked out the Lord. Most people don't know this cause I keep it under-wraps pretty well, but I'm not always as pleasing to the Lord as I should be. I fail a lot, and I guess people just give me too much credit. I have these hands that are stained with sin, and no one seems to see them but me. As a sinner, I'm winning.

Al Abdula recently lead a Bible study at Reality Carpinteria on verse three of Psalm 23. " He Restores my soul." There were too many good things that were said so go listen to the study (august 15th),but for now two things that gripped my heart. Are we delighting in the Shepherd more than the blessing? And I need to Confess where I've substituted righteousness for other things. If the Lord's gonna lead me, He has to make me right again.

Well thats all for now. sorry to exhaust, and congratulations if you made it this far.